


A match made in Heaven

by Aragorn_II_Elessar



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, WestAllen in a nutshell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 06:36:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18632785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/pseuds/Aragorn_II_Elessar
Summary: WestAllen in a nutshell. Inspired by LycoX's "The Great Mockery."





	A match made in Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Flash or anything else you may recognize
> 
> These WestAllen stans need to learn how to insult creatively. I'm bored of seeing their unoriginal hate comments at this point- "Racist", "Iris hater", "Snowbarry shipper", "Delusional", "Obsessed", etc.
> 
> At least I have creative ways of roasting Iris like Venn Diagrams.
> 
> And they should know that hating on me won't make me stop writing such stuff. It will just inspire me to write another one-shot that is critical of Iris and WestAllen.
> 
> Thank you to LycoX for giving me permission to do this as this was inspired by his "The Great Mockery" and follows the same pattern.

The speedster known as Barry Allen to those who knew him and the Flash to the rest of the city was sitting alone at S.T.A.R. Labs. Instead of his usual cheerful self, he was very broody currently. Not because of a new time travel mistake he had made or a new speedster supervillain. He was brooding over his love for Iris Ann West and the love he wanted from her. But he didn't want to put her in danger.

"Why can't I have your sweet love for once, Iris?" Barry moaned aloud mournfully.

Suddenly, the lights came on and in front of the speedster stood the one he desired and cried out loud, "You can have my sweet love for the entirety of your life, Barry. In slow motion."

The very woman who had his heart wrapped around her little finger. Her presence alone changed him from one man to another and gave him hope and light.

"I want to be with you, my love. But I always have to run into my enemies. Which is why we cannot be together."

Oh how he wanted to wipe the streams of tears that were flowing down her eyes at that moment like the rivers Mississippi and Missouri and kiss her like no man could ever kiss a woman.

"Do not deny us, my sweet Barry! We belong together. Our love will heal each other."

Of course that was true. The power of their true love could do anything. It could overcome any obstacle.

"Iris…" The Scarlet Speedster said softly as he stroked her cheek.

"Barry…" The woman replied in a kind voice.

The two star crossed lovers looked at each other as Barry said from the bottom of his soul, "Roses are red, my face is too, that only happens when I'm around you."

Touched by Barry's pure love for her, Iris spoke from the bottom of her own soul, "You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me."

As the two were lost in each other's gaze, those watching had disgust all over their faces.

"And I thought Flashpoint was the worst thing he did to me." Spoke young Cisco Ramon in a grave tone as he exchanged a look with the equally disgusted Caitlin Snow.

"Oh my God! Even Killer Frost won't be coming out for a week now after witnessing the sight before us!" The horrified biochemist spoke grimly.

The two lovebirds had their arms wrapped around each other.

"Moon of my life, my sister in all but blood, light of my soul, healer of my wounds, I love thee more than any that walk this Earth."

"My son and stars, my brother in all but blood, the one I have always loved, I love thee too more than any that walk this Earth."

"Oh Iris…"

"Oh Barry…"

The two shared a passionate kiss which shook Earth, Heaven and even Hell with its power as a rainbow formed above them and shone down brightly while Angels sang their Heavenly Hymns and birds chirped happily around their heads.

"I supported incest between my own kids…" was all Joseph West, the now ashamed father of Iris West and foster father of Barry Allen could say with a look of disgust on his face.

"Marry me, moon of my life!"

"Oh I will! In all the timelines on all Earths, my sun and stars! We are a match made in Heaven!"

The two shared another passionate kiss which shook Earth, Heaven and even Hell with its power as everyone groaned in disgust.

"I told Barry guys like us never get the girl. I wish I had been right." Oliver Queen said seriously.

"Even the two of us weren't half as ridiculous as this." Felicity Smoak spoke truthfully.

"Right you are, Felicity."

In the land of Westeros, Jaime and Cersei Lannister, twins who were also lovers, watched the scene with disgust written all over their faces.

"They are bigger fools than Lord Eddard if they think they're anything like us." The Mad Queen spoke in her wrath.

"I think I will become the lover slayer now." The Kingslayer said in agreement.

"Iris!"

"Barry!"

**Author's Note:**

> That would be WestAllen in a nutshell. Once again, thank you to LycoX.
> 
> I don't ship Jaime and Cersei because its incest but Barry and Iris are retards if they think they are half as tight as those two were.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
